Silver Strike44
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Posted - 2015.01.11 00:37:00 -
[1] - Quote
A fierce battle rages all around our hero. He is told by his commander that his efforts are needed outside of the compound where this war is being waged. So, he proceeds outside.
Commander: Okay, I need you to take Delta.
Hero: I can't.
Commander: Why not?
Hero: Because there is an Amarr Scout.
Commander: You don't know that.
Hero: Yes, I do.
Commander: How?
Hero: There's always an Amarr Scout.
Commander: Just go take the objective.
Hero: Okay, maybe there isn't an Amarr Scout. Maybe I'm just being paranoid.
Our hero starts hacking the Delta. Amarr Scout (Shotgun) Hero. Our hero respawns in the compound.
Hero: I couldn't take Delta.
Commander: Why not?
Hero: Because there was an Amarr Scout.
Commander: Why couldn't you kill him?
Hero: Because he can see me.
Commander: Anybody can see you if they look at you.
Hero: You don't understand. He can see me...passively.
Commander: Just get back out there and capture that objective.
Hero: I can't. There is an Amarr Scout.
Commander: Jesus, just go.
Hero: Okay, but I'm not going to able to capture the objective.
Our hero proceeds to the outskirts of Delta once again.
Hero: I can't see him.
Commander: He's probably not there, then.
Hero: No, he's definitely here.
Commander: How do you know?
Hero: Because he's an Amarr Scout.
Commander: If he's there, go find him.
Hero: I can't. He's an Amarr Scout.
Commander: I swear to god, if you say Amarr Scout one more ti--
Hero: Wait. I think I see the Amarr Scout. Never mind. It's just a rock.
Commander: You know what? I hope the Amarr Scout does see you--
Hero: He definitely can...
Commander: And sneaks up behind you--
Hero: He's probably doing that right now...
Commander: And shoots you in the back.
Amarr Scout (Shotgun) Hero. Our hero respawns again.
Hero: Yep. He did.
The allied MCC is destroyed.
Commander: Good job, you scrub.
Hero: Hey! It's not my fault they had an Amarr Scout.
A few days later, there are fighting another battle.
Commander: Do you think you can handle taking Delta this time?
Hero: It depends.
Commander: On what?
Hero: On whether or not there is an Amarr Scout there.
Commander: Why did I even ask? Just go.
Our hero goes outside and sees a full squad of Sentinels at Delta.
Hero: It looks pretty much undefended.
Commander: There's nobody there?
Hero: Correct. There are no Amarr Scouts at Delta.
Commander: That's not what I asked, though.
Hero: I'm moving in.
Hero (Shotgun) Sentinel Scrub. Hero (Shotgun) Sentinel Scrub. Hero (Shotgun) Sentinel Scrub. Hero (Shotgun) Sentinel Scrub. Hero (Shotgun) Sentinel Scrub. Hero (Shotgun) Sentinel Scrub.
Commander: How did you kill all six of them?
Hero: Like I said, there wasn't an Amarr Scout.
Commander: Okay, now hack the objective.
Hero: Sure thing.
Amarr Scout (Shotgun) Hero.
Commander: You've got to be shitting me. Get back out there and capture Delta before we lose this game. And don't you dare you can't because there is an Amarr Scout.
Hero:...
Commander: Don't...
Hero:...
Commander: You'd better not...
Hero:...
Commander: I will kill you right here and now...
Hero: But there's an Amarr Scout.
Commander (Forge Gun) Hero.
Commander: Now, spawn on a link near Delta and get me that objective.
Hero: I'll sure try...and fail...because there is an Amarr Scout.
Our hero spawns and approaches the letter.
Hero: Oh, God, I can feel his presence.
Commander: Whos?
Hero: Do you really want me to answer that.
Commander: Not at all. Hurry up.
Hero: I see the Amarr Scout.
Commander: Where?
Hero: Standing over my dying body, teabagging me.
Amarr Scout (Shotgun) Hero.
Commander: Okay, you dumb ******, this is our last chance. If you don't take that objective now, we are going to lose this battle. So, basically, we are screwed.
Hero: Fine. I will try one more time.
Our hero starts hacking the objective one final time. Random Teammate (Shotgun) Amarr Scout. Our hero completes the hack.
Hero: How did you kill him?
Teammate: With an Amarr Scout.
Hero (Shotgun) Hero. Defeat. Clone Reserves Depleted.
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